Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
