is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
