Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
