he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
