no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
