Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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