Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
