Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
