There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
