erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
