I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
