I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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