You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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