i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
