you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
