She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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