I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
