the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
