she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
