Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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