You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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