sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
