so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
