She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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