I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
