Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
