Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
