lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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