You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
