Who did Billy Mays play for?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
