It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
