You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
