You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
