he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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