you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
