I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
