I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
