Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
