I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
