In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
