im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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