Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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