Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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