Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
