I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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