how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I party with great urgency now.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
