just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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