the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
