You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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