Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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