Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
