I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
