I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
